i feel weird. thats the only way i know to describe this. i am OK and i am not a basket case - but i feel like i am in a dream. i feel like i have lost my best friend. i don't know what to do next. and i certainly don't know where to find single people (i'm not ready for that yet though). i'm just going through the motions with a few tears along the way.
i thought i had found 'the one' and now i've just found out that i haven't. i will have to start anew again. except now i have to find my independence too along the way.
he called yeterday and asked if i would go to church with him this morning. i had to decline. we were supposed to join together next weekend. it is just awkward right now and i feel best not to go and not to join.
all i know is that this is going to be hard. but my best friend (since grade school) and her BF of 6 years just broke up too so i guess we will be going through this together!
she and i went hiking yesterday to get away from all of our stress. we hiked to a beautiful waterfall. it was great exercise and fun to see nature. even though i didn't have much to say or a lot of smiles to release - it was very theraputic!
today i will be job searching. who knows, i could potentially move somewhere else! afterall i am free to do that now.
now i am going to have to learn to put a positive spin on this - which still every idea i have sucks.
grrrrhhhhh....
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Starting Over...
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Amanda, I do know what you are going through. I have been there in one sense, with Trent. It will take some time but you will realize that that "one" for you is out there. It's gonna take some time. But use this time as a time to be with yourself. Pick up a new hobby, your search for a new job (great start), look at places and jobs outside of where you are living. Get away from it all. You need a mini vacation, of just you to hang out.
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